Been a while....

This morning I am finally getting a chance to write down my thoughts. Its been a busy almost two months since Tony has left us. My new job has me working 9-6 and then coming home rushing to make dinner for Hayden and get a few hours of snuggles and hanging out in before we both crash out before 9pm every night. It makes it very stressful- but I make it my goal to spend the whole weekend time with him so that he doesn't feel like he is being neglected- although if you knew him you would know that he doesn't act that way at all.
I have decided that Hayden is going to be my comedian child- he will repeatedly do things if I laugh at him the first time that he does it. This will prob make it hard for him in school if he continues to be a little clown- but we will face that battle when it comes to us. He is growing and growing and I cant believe how much changes are going on with him even in the small two months that have passed. He can now point out every part of his face and tummy if you ask them where they are- even puts his finger in his nose when you ask him where his nose is. He is so close to saying sentences but his main concern is "PUPPIES???" day in and day out he has to know where his puppies are and make sure they are okay. They really have formed a bond in his eyes- even hugs and kisses them when we walk in the door from being gone.
I am doing great- haven't pulled out my hair yet- am down to 135 pounds (which blows my mind) and have hit the goal of running the 5K in 28 minutes (9.2 min miles) so I am in great shape- maybe Tony should have left a long time ago *JKJKJKJKJKJKJKJK*.
I have been neglecting my camera and I am feeling awful about that part- I enjoy taking pictures and making birthday cards for family but haven't found the time to break them out at all- maybe I will make a point to do that this coming weekend.

DEPLOYMENT REALIZATION-
I have been spending more money with Tony gone- and I realized this yesterday when looking at the bank account and seeing CASH WITHDRAWAL CASH WITHDRAWAL- I am not spending a lot of money on things but defenitly noticing that I am filling my lonely void with buying things and pampering myself a little more than normal. I have a feeling that this is completely normal because I am here alone being a single mom with no time to do much during the week besides work eat and sleep. I know that things will all work out and be fine but man is that a tough one hahahahahaha.

All and all things have been about a 7 on a 10 scale- to be expected. Have had tough days where I sit in my car crying after taking Hayden to school and nights where I hold Hayden for hours after he has fallen asleep because I don't want to be alone. .......